Sunday, August 5, 2007

the night before

Less than twelve hours from now I'll be in a hospital gown, in a rolling bed, with an IV in my arm, most likely having my anesthesiologist explain what's going to happen to me. It's funny, I've been really nervous and scared for months, but now that it's really finally here, I feel relatively calm. You know how half the fun of Christmas is the anticipation and the waiting for the big exciting day? I'm pretty sure the anxiety of major surgery is the same way. The worst part has been having so much time to think and worry and stress and now that it's just going to happen, I can look at it practically and feel at least a little bit ready and stop freaking out so much.

Friday I went in to have my blood taken and do other pre-admitting stuff. I had misunderstood about what the whole giving blood thing was--they weren't actually taking enough of my own blood to give it back to me during my surgery, they were just taking a sample so they could find compatible blood in their blood bank and have it ready for me. They sometimes do the storage thing for patients where they get their own blood back, and originally my doctor told me that was what I'd be doing, but apparently that plan changed somewhere along the line. I'm very fine with that. I don't do very well with giving blood in general so the less the better, plus who knows, maybe I'll get the blood of some amazing athlete or music virtuoso and have this incredible extra talent for a few days.

When I went in on Friday they also put two hospital bracelets on me which I've had to wear all weekend. One is just my name and birthday and all that other identifying information, and the other is the serial number that my blood was labeled with, to make sure that nothing happens to have a mix-up and let the wrong blood inside me. My blood is #UVH41176, if you were curious. The bracelets have been slightly more annoying than I anticipated they would be, mostly because they have this seemingly magical ability of letting water in them but having no way to remove said water, but in a way they have been another helpful part of making it all seem more real and manageable instead of just this vague scary thing. Plus, of course, I'm always a fan of extra unmerited attention, and wearing hospital bracelets all weekend has given me some of that. Sweet.

I'm not sure how long it will be before I can update on here, but I will try to as soon as I can. Supposedly the hospital I'll be at will have wireless internet so hopefully I can write something from there to let everyone know how it went. It might be some pretty creative writing that comes out of me those first few days, depending on how much morphine I'm on at the time. Maybe I'll be the next Lewis Carroll. Until then, thank you all so much for your thoughts and concern and kindness and support and . It has already made a huge difference in this experience and I know it is just going to mean so much more on the other side of the surgery. Thanks, times a million, to all of you.

Oh, and also, I'm very pro-visitors and pro-phone calls. Please don't hesitate.

4 comments:

Pace said...

We'll come see you, do you want a pizza?

Anonymous said...

I won't be there until October. You'll probably be dancing by then. My prayers are with you this day. Go girl! Sister Cheney

ashley said...

Best wishes to you in the recovery stage. I hope you got a matching pedicure!

Anonymous said...

FYI- Tracy is home from the hospital on Saturday, August 11th. The surgery went well. I am proud of how hard she is working to get her strength back. Thanks for all your good wishes, prayers, visits, cards, and phone calls. I am sure Tracy will update as soon as she can.